I'm trying really hard to stay positive, despite my rejections starting to number in the dozens now. I believe that this piece is my strongest literary piece I have out there at the moment, and to see readers "not get it" is frustrating. I'm trying not to internalize or personalize the criticism. I'm looking at feedback and thinking "ok maybe I could edit that bit or change that idea", but I don't want to completely rewrite the piece or the character to make it more conventional because the whole idea of the piece was that it was non-conventional.
I'm trying to do something reasonably challenging with it - there's some really deep stuff that you have to dig for in it, and it's not my job as the writer to have to hold the reader's hand all the way through it. The best pieces leave you thinking well after you've put the story down.
It seems like I'm doing the mental pep talks more and more of late, and it is getting difficult. Someone told me once, many years back, I was "just an average writer" (yeah, I don't work for them thankfully) and I keep hearing those words over and over in my head, even though I know that person was wrong. You can reject the words, but it still hurts.
Am I getting better? I don't know. But I'm writing what I want to write, not what's popular, nor do I want to experiment with "writing like a man". I tossed that idea round in my head over the weekend, wondering if I should try some sort of social experiment, but damn it all....I'm going to succeed on my terms.
Ha, maybe I'll become one of those writers more appreciated after my death.
|Happy Cat Has Run Out of Happy|