The tools needed for dealing with a life-changing event move in and out of the tool box on a daily basis. I realized around Christmas time I'd spent a lot of 2011 running on nervous energy and adrenaline, and if I didn't deal with that I'd turn into a bit of a wreck. I had to reset my priorities.
One of my biggest priorities is my writing. I needed the energy to focus on it. I want to be invested in issues that are meaningful to me, but my reserves of Coping Energy are somewhat depleted after the last twelve months, so something had to give. Hence, less flamination and banner waving from PT.
I haven't lost my verve for important issues, I've simply found another venue to work them out. I've turned them inwards, gone introspective, and they're coming out as good stories. I could even say it's been good therapy.
This is not to say things will continue this way. Possibly as time goes on I'll find renewed energy and coping skills that will allow me to get beyond "*flail* This sucks!" or "Amazeballs!". I do look at some of my writing heroines and marvel at how articulate they are in the face of their writing work, daily lives, and human stupidity. I want to be a wordsmith like that. They make me want to be a better person.
Words, please don't f(l)ail me now.
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